Nothing good happens after 2am? Nothing good happens after alcohol. You’re happy for a moment, then things start to go wrong.
When I drink alcohol with a straw, it brings out the worst in me. This one night, when I downed a few cups of contreau lime sodas, word vomit was what happened. I began bitching about my friends, whining about work, and doing just the impossible. I got mad at the waiter for not understanding me, and I bitched about the air conditioning. Nothing was right for me it seemed.
It was funny how I could see straight, walk straight, and yet how my thoughts lost track of themselves. I couldn’t sleep that night. When the alcohol started to wear off in the morning, it all started to come back to me. I never felt so foolish in my entire life. I made a fool of myself in front of friends and strangers, and embarrassed my friends as well.
I ever told myself never to get myself drunk. But I did. I didn’t even realize I was till the next day.
I guess alcohol is more than just social lubricant. It brought out the bitch in me. It creates friction.
This year has been an emotional roller coaster. I have never dealt with so much shit in my life. Despite everything, I have always tried to ignore it and to stay strong. No one has any idea how hard it actually is. And because of it all, I have turned into this person I’m not familiar with. I wish I could be myself again, undo the flaws, and just be happy. It’s so tiring to have your heart burdened by so many things.
Sorry, I just needed to rant.